Recognition and Appreciation

"Painting Pictures of Egypt"

by Sara Groves

I don’t want to leave here

I don’t want to stay

It feels like pinching to me either way

The places I long for the most

Are the places where I’ve been

They are calling after me like a long lost friend
It’s not about losing faith

It’s not about trust

It’s all about comfortable

When you move so much

The place I was wasn’t perfect

But I had found a way to live

It wasn’t milk or honey

But then neither is this
I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt

Leaving out what it lacked

The future seems so hard

And I want to go back

But the places that used to fit me

Cannot hold the things I've learned

And those roads closed off to me

While my back was turned

The past is so tangible I know it by heart

Familiar things are never easy to discard

I was dying for some freedom

But now I hesitate to go

Caught between the promise

And the things I know
If it comes too quick I may not appreciate it...Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

If it comes too quick I may not recognize it...Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

In the past week, I have really gone through a needed attitude adjustment. Though at this point it shouldn't, it still amazes me just how much my attitude effects everything! I have already been held prisoner by the enemy's attacks, without even realizing it.

I have always been able to relate to the Israelites held as slaves in Egypt and who prayed as they cried out to God for freedom. They witnessed His miracles as He mightily answered their prayers and freed them from their captivity. However, at the first sign that things weren't going exactly as planned, they began whining and grumbling and complaining about their present situation.

That is so me, or at least it was before last week. I actually had a moment where I sat at my kitchen table and wept to God and husband about how hard being obedient to God's call has been - leaving our home, which is still on the market (of course, it is the perfect time to sell - ha ha), my husband leaving his job - still without one, leaving us with bills much too much for a 3/4 time pastor's salary to pay and did I mention no health insurance, leaving friends and family, comfort, the past...did I mention that I was whining!!!! OMG!!!

Since I received news that I would be appointed as a pastor, the desire of my heart for the last, oh 10 or 12 years, I have been talking about trust and obedience, but I really have not been living that out. Shame on me. God brought us here and has provided in abundance, not necessarily the way we, okay I think He should be. He has been and is faithful. Satan was using all of those things, and more to distract me from the purpose that God sent me - us, here to fulfill. Then on Tuesday, I was freed from the enemy's bondage. A dear friend, a sister in Christ, listened to my whining, and then prayed with me and the enemy fled.

I am now able to recognize all that God has done, is doing and will do to provide for our family and more fully appreciate it and Him.

Thank You, Lord for placing deep friendships in my life, safe places to turn, a loving, supportive and wise online faith community, health, and a wonderfully supportive and patient husband, among so many other blessings. I confess my weaknesses and my inability to trust You fully. I pray that You would keep me open only to Your Spirit and keep the enemy far from me, my family and the faith community where I am blessed to serve. I know there is a great deal of work to be done and therefore I need to be as close to you as I can get. Thank You for always being faithful despite my whining. I'll try not to do it again, though we both know that I am weak...I love You for loving me just as I am! In Jesus precious, powerful name...Amen!